Bubba Counseling is cognitive behavioral and experiential therapy model I created to help people improve the quality of their lives. Bubba Counseling has three components:
HOOYA (Head Out Of Your Ass)
Kitchen Table
Re-Ride
that are leveraged to help people heal and live the life they have desired and designed. One component builds up the other. Bubba Counseling is the therapeutic “track” used in this book, my seminars, radio shows and videos to help people LEARN how to actually HEAL what fuels anger and thus eliminate the outcomes in their lives that lead to heartache and missed opportunities.
HOOYA Therapy recommends that the first step in improving the quality of our lives is a cranium-rectum extraction. In order to effectively “interpret” the world around us, our own thinking and behaving patterns and the patterns others leverage, we need to get our head out of our ass. We can only take personal responsibility (a.k.a. “man-up” and “woman-up”) if our head is out of our ass.
Our life is guided and directed by a variety of irrational components that make up our belief structure or world view. HOOYA is the means by which we identify the irrational components that need replacing.
Kitchen Table is the brain-storming, how can I take personal responsibility for the shit in my life and improve the system component. No one is going to improve your life except you. Once you are thinking clearly and taking ownership of your own crap and the need to clean it up; then you can create action plans for completing those tasks. Until you know what needs to be corrected (through HOOYA) you can’t take action.
Kitchen Table teaches people who to create new actions that will lead to healthier beliefs, emotions, behaviors and outcomes – thus improving the quality of people’s lives.
Re-Ride is about getting your ass off of the couch, engaging in the world and with people for the “soul” purpose of improving the quality of your life. Life is lived in community and connection to people, places and things. After you have brain stormed and created action plans in the Kitchen Table phase you must put those plans into action, take risks, connect and add quality to your life.
Re-Ride is the most difficult of the components and the point in counseling where most people exit and return to a shitty life. Making changes, taking risks and improving your life is frightening. I get that. I have lived it as well. Without connecting and impacting the world in a different way, your life will remain the same. If that works for you then quit reading. If not, then read on my friend. Read on.
Bubba Counseling is based on the work of Albert Ellis (Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy or REBT) and William Glasser (Reality Therapy based on Choice Theory).
Bubba Counseling and this book believe that:
Crap Happens.
When crap happens, we start an AUTOMATIC analysis process in order to interpret and understand our world and the crap happening in our world.
Interpretations drive AUTOMATIC emotional and physical sensations.
Emotional & physiological responses fuel BEHAVIOR that is:
always present & central to the human experience,
chosen by an individual and unique to that individual,
driven by a requirement to satisfy one of five basic needs:
survival (environmental & physical)
love & belonging (psychological)
power & significance (psychological)
freedom & acceptance (psychological)
fun & enjoyment (psychological)
After you act or BEHAVE you evaluate the OUTCOMES of your selected action.
Undesired outcomes CAN BE CHANGED when thoughts are modified through a correction or new experience.
Let’s take this model out for a spin.
You are running late for work. You catch every red light (crap happens).
As you sit waiting for the light to turn green your mind begins to imagine the scene that will play out when you arrive at work. LATE. AGAIN! (automatic analysis process commences).
“My boss is going to kick my ass and possibly fire me when I arrive!” (interpretation).
Fear, possibly even panic, begins to flow through your soul (automatic emotions experienced).
Your heart rate increases, palms sweat, shoulders tighten and your feet tingle (automatic physiological responses occur).
When light turns green, you gun it, cut someone off to get right in order to pass a slower drive in front of you; whom you flip off as you pass on the right and then cut that driver off as you merge back to the single lane of the two-lane road. Problem is, you just flipped off your boss’s wife (behavioral choices to express emotions, expel physical responses and fulfill need: save job).
Your boss’s wife smiles and waves than seeing your one finger salute appears to shrink into a blubbering pile of what once was a human being. You are now completely SCREWED (evaluation of your selected anger behaviors).
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